What's In My Bag? More Like What's Not In My Bag.

You know those cute "What's in your bag" pictures when everything looks perfectly coordinated, organized and necessary to achieve a fantastic life:

Photo Credit: Inside Instyle Tumblr

Well, the "What's In My Bag" version for my life should be renamed "What's Not in My Bag."  And the only answer to that question would be Chloe.

This may explain why my purse has weighted 100 lbs recently.

Here is the rundown of the above and how I can rationalize each of these items being in my purse before cleaning it out:

• 8 pens: You know in case one runs out, I am always prepared for eight other opportunities.
• My 2014 calendar: Because yes, I am one of the few people on Earth who still carries around a handheld calendar. It's going to be that way for awhile people.
• Lip glosses and lotions, 2 bottles of Aquaphor to be exact. This must be the same principle behind the pens. If I run out of one, I will have the other in case of a chapped lips emergency. 
• 10 hair rubberbands: Yet for some reason I can never even find one. This situation is a mystery to me.
• Green earrings Mom gave me as a gift on my last trip home three weeks ago: Clearly they have not made it out of my purse yet. I am always prepared in case of an earring emergency that way.
• Nutritional Hydrate Supplements: I got these at a press conference last week. By leaving them in my purse, I am be prepared for hydration all day everyday. 
• Business card case. This one is actually normal. The fact that I have random business cards of mine floating around in my purse that aren't in this case…that may not be so normal. 
• Kleenex. I always have kleenex in my purses. I think this one is hereditary. 
• Bills I need to pay online: Three years ago this ended up on the wife list of responsibilities. And it has never gotten taken off. 
• My exercise drawings: I don't have them memorized and I am forced to wander around the gym looking at these to figure out what to do. The problem is I will most likely forget to take them to the gym if they aren't already in my purse. So I'm stuck. 
• Wallet: The one seems self-explanatory even though it won't do anyone a whole lot of good should they get ahold of it. 
• A Ziploc bag with two Tylenol: I lost my purse size Tylenol bottle somewhere and in a rush to get out the door sans headache last week I threw some in a Ziploc and off we went. 
• Old grocery lists: I've got nothing. 
• A stack of receipts to be thrown away: Again, I've got nothing. 
• Sunglasses: Due to these lovely things called contacts, if I forget these I am practically blind outside. 

I am obviously prepared for anything and everything. It is also amazing I haven't broken my back due to the weight of my purse in recent weeks. Half of this stuff has now been removed. But I am sure a whole new random collection of items will appear over the next few months and I'll just be forced to do another version of "What's Not In My Bag?"