My Official Guide to Girl Scout Cookies

There's an app for that. There is truly an app for everything. And just when I think I have heard or seen it all, here comes a new one. There is now a Girl Scout Cookie App. News to me.

Sidenote- yes I have a few updates I need to do.

I can't even. This exists. Being someone who does not regularly come into contact with Girl Scouts unless it is outside the grocery store or church, I never know where I can buy cookies. Since Girl Scouts won't take credit cards, I need to get cash and then go find the cookies immediately. This single-handedly solves all my cookie buying issues forever.

But the other issue that remains is I don't even know what the cookies are called anymore. I feel so old school referring to things like Samoas and Tag-a-longs and Trefoils. The little Girl Scouts look at me like I might as well be asking them where the closest video store is located. 

So to save all of us further embarrassment and further moments of feeling old, we are all going to figure out what these cookies are called together:

The official line-up

Old Cookies with New Names: 

Thin Mints: Still the same. Still minty. Still chocolatey. Delicious at room temp. Delicious frozen. Delicious.

Caramel deLites aka SAMOAS: Caramel, chocolate greatness plus coconut..which I normally never like so it has always been a mystery to me why I love these but I do.

• Sidenote- Shortly after we had just gotten our dachshund Lucy, she found a box of Samoas we had left on the floor and ate the entire thing. The entire box. We were so mad because those were our cookies and since this was pre-iPhone and pre-Girl Scout cookie app, we couldn't just go buy another one. Her stomach was huge afterwards and so began Lucy's weight problems.

Peanut Butter Patties aka TAG-A-LONGS: Peanut butter and chocolate. Surprisingly these were never one of my favorites. I don't know why. I do know we always buy a box for my Grandpa.

Peanut Butter Sandwiches aka DO-SI-DOS: Peanut butter cookie. Peanut butter sandwich. Always been kind of boring to me...like "why even bother eating a cookie, boring." Now they are really boring with their new name.

Shortbread aka TREFOILS: Look we all know these are the shortbread ones that come in the yellow box. They are plain but they are delicious. More importantly I know them by their yellow box. Now it is blue. Don't even get me started.

New Cookies:

Thanks-A-Lot: I don't understand why this cookie says "Thank You" but it does. To me it is like a Trefoil combined with a chocolatey inside so every time I eat one I can hear my taste buds saying thank you. I have to give props to the Girl Scouts, I like this cookie.

Lemonades: I am not a big lemon person. I don't like lemon in my water, in my tea or in my cookies. Plus the fact that these come in a yellow box confuses me because if you see above, Trefoils are the yellow box cookie. How dare you try to take over like that?

Shout-Outs: These say "Lead" and I don't understand why these say Lead. I also don't understand what they taste like. Sounds like an advertisement for the new app. Lead me to the cookies? There's an app for that. 

Do you have a favorite cookie? Do you hate the new names? 

As you come across Girl Scouts either at the grocery story or with your new app, I hope this cheat sheet helps you determine which cookies are really your heart's desire.

Why Sing When You Can Lip Sync?

I am not a singer. Never have been, never will be. But I do love to dance. And I do enjoy a good lip sync performance with Kristina in the living room or with the sole purpose of annoying my husband.

A few months ago though, Gregg discovered Jimmy Fallon's lip sync competitions. My life will never be the same. So take a minute, gather everyone you know around the computer and enjoy the amazingness of this:

Lip Sync Battle with Jimmy Fallon, Joseph Gordon Levitt and Stephen Merchant 

And then as if that is not amazing enough….last night he did it again with Paul Rudd or who you may know better as Bryan MacKenzie.

The first official "Tonight Show Lip Sync Battle" with Paul Rudd

It is equally as funny to watch the performances as it is to watch Jimmy Fallon dying laughing during them. If you are having a bad day, a rough week or maybe you are just bored and need a laugh, you just put one of these on and you will instantly feel better. They actually get funnier the more you watch them. I will not admit how many times I may or may not have seen these.

Consider yourself warned, family: 

I can't believe my family hadn't already thought of doing this before now. As official "Family Manager" I guarantee these are coming to a family holiday in my home very, very soon…Kristina are you ready? 

Consider yourself warned, friends:

I am also notifying everyone I know that someday I plan to host a Lip Sync party when I am no longer living in an apartment where you can't do full on performances with loud noise. Come one, come all, when that day arrives. 

Start planning your songs or start planning your excuses why you cannot attend. 

El Bachelor Episode 9

El Bachelor Episode 9: "You're So Vain." 

After watching this episode I felt a strong urge to watch this scene from How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days. Because let's face it, that's about how long these people on The Bachelor have known each other so it makes sense. 

This is going to be a strange recap. Strange because I went to Happy Hour and got home at 8:15. The Bachelor starts at 7. When I texted Kristina to tell her I was about to start watching she informed me that she was at the portion where DA Andi was recapping her fantasy suite nightmare date. Kristina demanded I fast forward to catch up. The exact phrases she used were: 

• "Seriously Clare's date is boring as EXPLETIVE" 
• Spoiler: they make out in the hot tub AGAIN. shocker. 

Now that I have finished the episode I don't care enough to go back and watch Clare's date so I'm just going to have to go with that. 

The real humor began as we tried to figure out where in the episode the other person was so we could begin watching:

Kristina: I just saw a bird. 

Me: Bird on a tree? Or bird in the water?

<Insert Commercial Break>

<Insert Nikki's Date> 

• I truly have no idea what happened on this date other than her fringe bathing suit. No idea. 

<Insert Commercial Break>

Kristina: Whoa why is Chris Harrison SO dressed up?

Me: What Chris Harrison? I am watching Juan Pablo's grey pants.

Kristina: Flip flop flip flop. 

<Insert commercial break> 

Kristina: I just saw a spider?

Me: What a spider? I am watching Andi walking down a path.

K: Ughhhh hold on okay bye. 

Andi vs. Juan Pablo- FINALLY. Give the people what they want on a Tuesday night.

• Andi is an assistant DA so my guess is that the girl knows how to argue. Like for real argue. 
• The greatest moment in Bachelor history may have been when she asked if JP knew her religious views? Her political views? How she wants to raise her kids? 
• Andi. This is The Bachelor. NOT a date at Chili's. Do not ask such foolish questions. 

The word Default

• There was a lot of discussion around this word and I am not sure why. 
• Juan Pablo said "I don't say that word. It is not a word that I use."
• Then he tried to pronounce it and said he can't pronounce it.
• So I ask you, do you or do you not think the word default was used inside fantasy suite?

The phrase "It's Okay"

STOP SAYING IT'S OKAY. 

OKAY. 

You disrespect me like that on my show and you leave in a van. 

The rose ceremony. 

• This was a super shocker as to who was getting roses at this point. 
• The two blondes will go head to head in two weeks. 

TWO WEEKS??? Seriously ABC. I really thought the double header this week would mean a double header next week. Although I will be tuning in for the most dramatic "Women Tell All" ever. I typically hate these things but this one is going to be highly entertaining. The big question on my mind:

• Will Lucy wear shoes?
• Kristina wants to know if Lucy will even wear clothes? 

Besitos to all and to all a Good Night. 

El Bachelor Episode 8

It is Monday. The Keurig machine broke at work. I spilled creamer on my desk. Let's hope Tuesday gets off to a better start.

El Bachelor Episode 8: "Where I Come From, It's Corn Bread and Chicken." - Alan Jackson 

Nikki's Date

• How is the most famous place for BBQ in Kansas City name Oklahoma Joe's? I am already confused. So is Juan Pablo. And so is America. 
• Nikki: "Even though it's been such a short time it feels so normal." Riiiiight. Because trips to Korea and whatnot are totally normal for first dates in a relationship. 
• Nikki's Dad: "It's great to sit down with someone who has the maturity and understanding of…" and at this point I finished his sentence and said an avocado. 
• Why an avocado? I am not sure but I cannot listen to someone go on about JP's maturity and understanding. 
• And just like that you didn't tell him you love him. And now we have to deal with that. Thanks. 

Andi's Date

• "Helllllo, Helllllo." Hey Juan Pablo-- you don't greet the bullets like they are ladies. 
• Boom/bulls eye. I wonder if Juan Pablo knows what bulls eye means. 
• Is it just me or did anyone else realize Andi was this southern before now? I am confused. 
• Andi is an Assistant DA who shoots guns. I would need to assume that somehow stems from her family and I'd be afraid for them to meet you too. 
• Pookie = Andi. Luckily Kristina and I don't have ridiculous nicknames like that and even if we did luckily our parents wouldn't know the first thing about having a sign like that made. 
• I always wonder what my Mom would cook on a hometown date. The thing is she wouldn't cook. I am pretty sure we would be eating out of Stonewerks to go food styrofoam. 
• It's totally normal for my mom to dance salsa with my "boyfriend" in the other room while I am not around….riiiiight. 
• Andi proclaims "we do best when we are having fun." Dear Andi, Most couples do best when they are having fun. The issue is that real life is not fun. 
• Andi and her sister look a lot alike. 
• Her dad just described his thoughts on The Bachelor as "that's after you're done with this thing you're doing" 

I am bored. And my Pinterest won't work for some reason. Let's move on to Tuesday night drama. 

Renee's Date

• Little Rascals Baseball- duh Ben is great…Renee is great…so duh Ben is great.
• The entire time I kept keeping my eyes peeled for locations I saw when I visited Hayley. 
• I feel like her mom just made it even more painful for Renee to be away from her son by discussing an inside joke about bracelets.
• Kiss of death- the better the home town date the more likely you will be eliminated. This is what I have learned in all these seasons. 
• Renee's family members all look alike. 

Clare's Date

• All these sisters look alike in strange ways. I feel like this is Little Women on steroids. 
• Did they rent those chairs from a nearby ballroom? They look like all they are missing is chair covers and you'd be at a wedding. 
• Shout out to the fam by saying "Madeline is the 1 out of all my sisters that I value her opinion." Way to throw the entire family under the bus on national TV. 
• And let me tell you that if Kristina threw our family under the bus on national TV, I would literally throw her under a bus. 
• Wait a second. I just thought Laura was Clare's mom and then realized the mom is sitting in the middle. 
• Whoa- Sister fight on national TV. Laura you should lock it up now. You and those silver hoops and green v-neck shirt should lock it up. 
• All their mom said this entire scene was "oh good." 
• Why do they keep calling their mom Mama? 
• "The whole situation is getting weird"- says Clare. I have to agree, this is beyond weird Clare. This is the first time you and I have agreed on something the entire season. 
• I feel like Laura is interrupting a one on one date with Clare and her mom. 
• Clare's house is its own version of the women of the Bachelor. No wonder Clare was so well prepared for this show. She lives The Bachelor with these sisters and Mama everyday. 
• Why is sister Laura following Mama around? What is going on?? 
• Can this woman not talk? I am now serious. I am now seriously confused. 
• Dear Clare, When you fight with your sister your husband will not be your rock. Instead he will hide under a rock because nothing terrifies your husband more than a fight with your sister. 

Final Rose. Deep breath. It is for Andi. Renee is going home, just like I predicted. 

Chloe feels sick at the elimination and the previews.
Ay Yi Yi Juan Pablo. I am dreading tomorrow night. 

At this point Gregg who just walked in the door proclaims: "The loosest dress loses and the tightest dress wins. Let this be a lesson to all woman." 

Thank you for those profound words Husband.

See you all tomorrow night. I cannot even believe I am going to watch this show twice in one week yet I am secretly thrilled for the most dramatic fantasy suite date in Bachelor history. 

Will You Be My Bridesmaid?

Hayley and I started our blogging adventure together a few months ago, 

 We pushed each other off the ledge to give it a go. 

While I blog about nonsense this year (like that made up poem) or settling into my new city or whatever else is going on, Hayley actually has a big year ahead while she plans her wedding. And while I am no longer planning a wedding, I now officially have a big year annoying her about these wedding plans because I just received this: 

And since we are now blogging together and making our lives public together, I thought I needed to answer in a very unique way. So Hayley my answer is….

YES! 

The thing I love about bridesmaids in weddings is that they signify a specific period of your life that led you to where you are today, the day you are getting married. For me Hayley has played this wonderful role in my life from the very beginning of A&M. We met each other on Bid Day at the end of Rush and she was my very first friend in Pi Phi. I didn't have a car freshmen year so we drove together to sorority meetings. We both started out as journalism majors together (I switched after 1st semester but she kept with it). We explored the world of frat parties together. We went to date parties together. We had some really ridiculous late nights and moments together. This grew and grew for 4 years and continues today. She is one of my very best friends and I can't imagine life without her. 

So when she also included this perfect quote in my card, I was not surprised, because it is also one of my favorite quotes and she is one of the people I think of when I see it: 

So Yes Yes Yes Hayley! I cannot wait to stand by you on your special day just as you did on mine. I also promise to stock up on Snack Wells cookies- I have a distinct memory of standing in a room at the church 20 minutes before the wedding was supposed to begin and Hayley was standing next to me. She got out a travel pack of Snack Wells cookies, started eating one and asked if I was hungry. I was about to say no but something in my head went yes, I am starving. Due to my stress and nerves of the big day, I barely ate lunch and all of a sudden I was actually hungry. It is this small moment of sharing a cookie with one of my best friends, 20 minutes before the biggest moment of my life, that has become such a special memory. It was so us and remains something I will never forget.

Hayley, I can't wait to be a part of your moments both big and small on the day you marry the love of your life! Cheers to March 2015! 

Friday 5

In case you are living under some sort of rock, we made it! It's Friday!!

 

Hayley and I are linking up again for another edition of Friday 5. 

Without further adieu here the Top 5 things that I think you need to know about:

I have been obsessed with Fashion Week from afar and thanks to twitter every year I feel like everyone is at a party with me. And I am left missing out and being jealous of this 2 year old.

Would you ever rent a short term apartment when traveling abroad instead of a hotel room? This guide makes me think I could do it.

My mom got this blanket from a friend and it is so soft and cuddly. Perfect gift idea.

In case you want to pretend you live in NYC. Take this quiz and find out which neighborhood is best for you?
  
You know you love me, XOXO. Blair Waldorf marries Seth Cohen. The must-see official wedding announcement for fans of The OC and Gossip Girl.

Have a great weekend!

Happy Hour Today With Friends From Yesterday

I went to Happy Hour tonight with some friends of mine from college and I have to say there is something magical about getting together with old friends- you know the friends who knew you when you were 18 and thought everything in the world rested on "what major you chose," who you lived with in your sorority house and saw you at your worst (early mornings), your best (date party formals) and everything in between (classes and meals), who saw and met the different guys you dated and heard about the corresponding drama that went along with those moments, who you drove to class with, who you studied with in the sorority chapter room, who you had lunch with- the people who knew you those 4 years when you were trying to discover who you were away from home before you shifted into the "real world."

You share these great memories because you experienced the same things. The same things that silly or serious are all just silly now. And as you sit there with your old friends, you are able to let your guard down because these people know you, the real you. You are mentally transported back to a simpler time when your only responsibility was school and the biggest worry you had was whether the boy you liked would call you back.

I am thankful for these nights and think it is important to have these nights. To have one of them on a Wednesday, allowing me an evening of escape, is like a midweek reward. These nights end in smiles as I am filled up with memories and emotions of happiness thinking about my past as I tackle the rest of the week in the "real world" of my today.

Happy Hour with the Wine and Silver Blue. Some of my faves from PC 02 & PC 03.

Ice Dancing's #1 Fan Overnight

I haven't blogged much (or at all) about the Olympics because to be honest I have only been quasi-watching. I put it on in the evenings when there isn't something else I really need to be watching or catching up on and I usually only put it on in the background. I had yet to really "get into it" until last night….

Meryl Davis and Charlie White realize they've won
Photo credit via FOX News

The Bachelor was over. I flicked on to the Olympics and started watching Ice Dancing. I still don't even know what Ice Dancing is but I do know it sounds similar to figure skating but a little more fun and a little more realistic as a possible "Analisa Olympic Talent." Because yes that is a requirement for me to love an Olympic event- envisioning myself doing it- since we all know that's going to happen someday.

There I was watching the judges critique things like "twizzles." And I got even more intrigued. 

NOT Twizzlers. 

Twizzles. Spins. Turns. On ice skates. Together. In unison. Fancy turns. On ice skates.

Regardless, I flipped from The Bachelor and watched the final three teams perform. One was really good. They took the 1st place spot. One was so-so and then I started hearing that the USA still had to go. In an instant I became seriously patriotic and seriously competitive:

I watched as Meryl Davis and Charlie White ice danced the dance of their life and took the gold. And as usual when these big moments happen…I have now become obsessed with Ice Dancing and obsessed with the newest Gold Medal Olympians Meryl Davis & Charlie White.

In case you also become randomly obsessed with things like this and then want to know everything you can, in a short amount of time, to impress everyone you know…here are a few links you can read to quickly absorb some insider information. I promise to tell no one. Your secret is safe with me.

People Magazine: 5 facts to know about Meryl Davis and Charlie White and if People thinks you should know these 5 things, then you should know these 5 things 

USA Today: How they have known each other since they were 9 years old

Buzzfeed: An easy with pictures step by step guide to getting to know them

People Magazine: Talking about their Moms, their #1 fans who matched them together to compete when they were little

Good Morning America: Hear and see them in this great interview

Tonight is ladies figure skating. Say it with me now, U-S-A

El Bachelor Episode 7

Before we begin I really just want you to watch this. It may be early Tuesday morning when you are reading this. Maybe you are coming into work half asleep. I am telling you. Watch/Listen to this and you are going to be pumped for your day. Do it now.

Now that we all feel better about our lives let's recap last night's episode.

El Bachelor Episode 7: I'm going to Miami. Or I'm Goin' Freaking Crazy.

I am not going to lie- having The Bachelor on Monday does sorta make Monday more enjoyable because you get a prize full of two hours of nonsense at the end of the day if you survive it.

S and I kicked off the evening's shenanigans in Miami with red vino, cheese, fruit and snacks. Because nothing says Ole El Bachelor like stuffing your face with a Home Happy Hour. 

Sharleen's Date Pre-Commercial: I Need a Dictionary

• The evening kicks off with Sharleen receiving the first one on one date card. 
• Sharleen: "Am I reading it?" 
• Me: "AM I READING IT!? IS THIS A JOKE???" 
• What is a cerebral connection? 
• At some point during this date S interjected: "She basically thinks he's an idiot."
• I could not stop laughing. It was so true. 

Commercial Break: What is with these rose framed commercial breaks? The Bachelor has become Big Brother and owns everything. I am glad I became a fan early on.

Sharleen's Date Post-Commercial: Now I Really Need a Dictionary

• Those couch bed lounge chairs the girls are relaxing in look like total Crate & Barrel and reminds me that I just got a new catalog I need to look through.
• S proclaims: "Sharleen is confused because she wants someone with a PhD and not in soccer." #truth

Post Sharleen Date: The counselor Renee is in. 

Nikki's Date Part One: Dance Recital Time

• This just all out confused me. And made me jealous because I love a good dance recital. I love performing in one and I love watching one and now I am sitting here jealous of a 6 year old. 
• Did anyone else happen to notice that jazz shoes are still without laces? Looks like the same jazz shoes I used are still happenin' which means I can still make a come back. 
• You enjoy having Camila's mom in your life. 

Nikki's Date Part Two: White Shirt 

• "I just feel calm and at ease and this could be my life." -Nikki proclaims in a white shirt that extends to her belly button and definitely screams step-mom
• Nikki starts playing baseball and I realize this white shirt is no joke people. Talk about tape. What brand of tape is this? Please share with the rest of the world. 

Sharleen's Departure: The Time Has Come

• The girls are all hugging Sharleen and wishing her the best and confirming her decision. DUH SHARLEEN! One less rose to hand out. One step closer to El Bachelor's heart.
• How did she know he was in room 1617. On second thought, I am doing research for a trip to Miami and would like to know which hotel this is?
• As Sharleen cries her heart out, S decides Juan Pablo is secretly saying "Don't worry Sharleen. I'm going to catch your attention when this is over and I break up with whoever."
• Juan Pablo proclaims: "Honesty is not appreciated" -- I think he meant to say "Honesty is not the best policy." Who am I kidding I don't understand what he was saying. 
• Kristina tweeted at this point: "When will ABC discover the REAL reason Sharleen left the show? (circa a la Rozlyn Papa)"

8pm: Is it seriously only 8pm??? 

Group Date: Aqua shoes are back!

• Lots of crying. Lots of do you like me. Lots of crying.
• Nikki's notes- It was at this moment I wondered what my parents would write to Kristina and me had we ever pursued this venue of dating. It is simple:
• Dad: "If you lose I want you to shake The Bachelor's hand and say thank you for the opportunity and walk away."
• Mom: "If it doesn't work out I'd just keep him as a friend. You never know. Just keep him as a friend." 
• Andi gets the rose. Andi gets one on one bonus date.
• And you could cut the tension on the reject plane with a knife. 

Fight between Nikki and Clare

• I have to be honest. I think Kristina and I had this fight everyday around 1990. It went something like this:
• Sister: Get out of my room.
• Sister: You don't own my room. Mom and Dad own this room.
• Sister: Put Minnie Mouse down.
• Sister: You don't own Minnie Mouse. Mom and Dad own Minnie Mouse.
• Sister: Give me back Popples.
• Sister: Make me.
• Sisters together: MOMMMMMM.
• The only thing missing was the ever predictable and ever necessary scream "MOMMMMM"

Rose Ceremony: Bright Colors on Parade

• "I'm getting eaten alive by mosquitoes"- Nikki …this is exactly the reason Kristina and I would always and I mean always have OFF! with us during Bachelor season. We would die. Mosquitoes love us even if The Bachelor doesn't. 
• Nikki and Clare end up seated together and what occurs is the "most dramatic moment of silence in Bachelor history."
• Nikki and Clare straight up look like they are going to kill each other. 
• My final words of encouragement: Dear Chelsie, You are only 24. It's going to be okay.

Housekeeping for next week:

• TWO nights next week. I am going to guess that they really want to wrap this up asap. 
• The bottom line though is: Does next week's two night extravaganza involve the finale? Do not pull a fast one Chris Harrison. Chloe will be very angry:

Don't you mess this up for me Chris Harrison and Juan Pablo. After I sat through Molly the dog and random Lord of the Rings Cat, if there is a finale next week, I need to know. 

Somehow I was able to finish watching The Bachelor and hop along over to the Olympics to watch the Ice Dancing USA pair win the Gold. 

Cheering on Bachelor drama + Cheering on my fellow countrymen = Monday Night Success

And Jimmy Fallon premieres in just a few short minutes!

I've gotta stop while I am ahead. The week can only go downhill from here….

What's In My Bag? More Like What's Not In My Bag.

You know those cute "What's in your bag" pictures when everything looks perfectly coordinated, organized and necessary to achieve a fantastic life:

Photo Credit: Inside Instyle Tumblr

Well, the "What's In My Bag" version for my life should be renamed "What's Not in My Bag."  And the only answer to that question would be Chloe.

This may explain why my purse has weighted 100 lbs recently.

Here is the rundown of the above and how I can rationalize each of these items being in my purse before cleaning it out:

• 8 pens: You know in case one runs out, I am always prepared for eight other opportunities.
• My 2014 calendar: Because yes, I am one of the few people on Earth who still carries around a handheld calendar. It's going to be that way for awhile people.
• Lip glosses and lotions, 2 bottles of Aquaphor to be exact. This must be the same principle behind the pens. If I run out of one, I will have the other in case of a chapped lips emergency. 
• 10 hair rubberbands: Yet for some reason I can never even find one. This situation is a mystery to me.
• Green earrings Mom gave me as a gift on my last trip home three weeks ago: Clearly they have not made it out of my purse yet. I am always prepared in case of an earring emergency that way.
• Nutritional Hydrate Supplements: I got these at a press conference last week. By leaving them in my purse, I am be prepared for hydration all day everyday. 
• Business card case. This one is actually normal. The fact that I have random business cards of mine floating around in my purse that aren't in this case…that may not be so normal. 
• Kleenex. I always have kleenex in my purses. I think this one is hereditary. 
• Bills I need to pay online: Three years ago this ended up on the wife list of responsibilities. And it has never gotten taken off. 
• My exercise drawings: I don't have them memorized and I am forced to wander around the gym looking at these to figure out what to do. The problem is I will most likely forget to take them to the gym if they aren't already in my purse. So I'm stuck. 
• Wallet: The one seems self-explanatory even though it won't do anyone a whole lot of good should they get ahold of it. 
• A Ziploc bag with two Tylenol: I lost my purse size Tylenol bottle somewhere and in a rush to get out the door sans headache last week I threw some in a Ziploc and off we went. 
• Old grocery lists: I've got nothing. 
• A stack of receipts to be thrown away: Again, I've got nothing. 
• Sunglasses: Due to these lovely things called contacts, if I forget these I am practically blind outside. 

I am obviously prepared for anything and everything. It is also amazing I haven't broken my back due to the weight of my purse in recent weeks. Half of this stuff has now been removed. But I am sure a whole new random collection of items will appear over the next few months and I'll just be forced to do another version of "What's Not In My Bag?"

Valentine's Day Comic Relief At Your Service

I am dressed and ready for Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day is kind of a comical holiday in my mind because instead of lots of rosey chocolate covered memories, my Valentine's Day memories are all ridiculous. I am not anti-Valentine's day but if you are in need of a good Valentine's break from everyone's picture perfect days, then I invite you to take a trip down memory lane with me.

Disclaimer: Do not read these and feel sorry for me. I am a happily (sometimes) married lady now. But for some reason Valentine's Day and I have never mixed well and it gave me an appreciation for girlfriends, creating my own plans and laughing at my own misfortune which seemed to happen every time February 14th rolled around.

The younger years:

• My popular sister: The time Kristina came home with this bouquet of flowers from school and I came home empty handed. (Who am I kidding this was not just one time) But this particular year, I had to stare at these flowers for days sitting in our kitchen...and then she broke up with him. I realized she literally kept her boyfriend around so she could get flowers for Valentine's Day.
• One of the moments where I realized my sister is smarter than I gave her credit for and decided I would keep her around.

The college years:

• The Year of Taco C: The time in college where Hayley and I thought we'd just drive to Houston for Valentine's Day since we were both "not dating/dating/not dating" guys who had gone MIA. The problem is hers resurfaced right before the day and blew our plans. But then he disappeared again on February 14th only to resurface at 10:30pm while we were in the HEB check out lane. I can't even remember what we were buying or why were were there but I specifically remember standing in the check out lane as she was screaming about the fact that he was just now asking her on a date...and it was to Taco Cabana. 
• A Rose from my Chiropractor: Then there was the time I had a visit to my chiropractor on Valentine's Day and he was giving all of his patients a rose. At the time I was thinking surely this won't be the only rose I am going to get on Valentine's Day? And I'll let you guess what happened there. 
• Pizza Hut: Somehow one Valentine's Day I ended up at Pizza Hut with random girls from our sorority house that also didn't have dates. Yes Pizza Hut. The only time I ever went there in college. 
• College Pad Meets Bachelor Pad: When I was dating Gregg senior year, our first Valentine's Day we decided to bake cookies at his house. This problem with this is it exposed me to a lot of things about the house of my new "not-my boyfriend-yet" (yes, I was judging, go ahead and judge me for that)....the main one being the mason jar he offered me for water. 

The long distance boyfriend years: 

• The Plan: While I lived in Denver for grad school, Gregg and I celebrated by eating the same food and watching the same movie. (cheesy but come on you think it is sorta cute) The only fast food around me and also near him was Wendy's so that was the plan. 
• The Reality: I got out of class around 8pm only to discover it had snowed and was continuing to snow. So there I was on Valentine's Day scraping ice and snow off my car. Then I arrive at the drive-thru only to discover my window is frozen shut. It would not open. I cannot place my order because I can't get the window down. So I have to park my car and go into this oddly placed Wendy's on Valentine's Day..making this entire experience even worse because I am the only person in there. Meanwhile Gregg is texting me that he's hungry wondering what is taking me so long. 
• Needless to say we did not try this again.

The marriage years: 

• Operation Carpool: Our first Valentine's Day as a married couple, I got to wake up at 4am and drive Gregg to the airport because he had to go on a consulting trip. My car was having issues and I needed to use his for the week. We were both so cold and miserable that I don't think we even said Happy Valentine's Day to each other in person that morning.
• Adventures in Baking: Which brings us to last night when I was making these cupcakes and nearly "mixed" my hand off. Here is a lesson to note: Do not plug in the handheld mixer and then decide to put those little silver mixer things inside. What will happen is you will accidentally turn on the mixer and before you know it your hand is getting a beating and you can't figure out how to make it stop.  

Luckily no one had to be taken to the hospital during the baking of these cupcakes.

There you go. If you are having a day where the guy you are dating has disappeared, do not be alarmed. If your plans are not working out the way you had hoped, don't think it is the end of your relationship. And if you don't have a significant other around then grab your best friends or just grab yourself, load up on chocolate candy and watch a movie. 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Mini Thoughts, Not Deep Thoughts

I don't have just one big thing to say today and instead have a list of all the random mini thoughts that came across my mind today. In case you are wondering how my mind works, here are my top ones: 

Thought #1:

Do you ever get on Pinterest and start to see annoying things? And then you start to wonder who the heck this person is you are following? And then you click on their name and still can't figure it out? But then you get anxiety thinking you may miss something if you don't follow them because clearly there was a reason one time you followed them? 

This just happened to me. 

Thought #2:

I was at a meeting tonight and as an ice breaker they asked people to get up and tell a story about their best/worst/anything Valentine's Day related. So I just sat there keeping my mouth shut and so did a lot of other people. Then slowly people started getting up and sharing their stories and they started giving them boxes of chocolates for sharing. And the more boxes of chocolates that were distributed the more I wanted one. So I got up and told the story of the year in college where the guy I liked totally didn't acknowledge the day but in my head we had pretend plans..yes, this made the situation even more annoying. I remember this story because I ended up at HEB with Hayley buying magazines and random food and then she ended up getting asked out on a Valentine's date to Taco Cabana while we were in the check out lane at 11pm. But the girls all just quasi-stared at me like they didn't know if they should laugh or feel sorry for me…and I am thinking I am a 29 year old happily (sometimes) married woman. I am just telling this story for the chocolate.

Give me the chocolate. 

Thought #3

NY Magazine put out The Top 25 Romantic Comedies Besides When Harry Met Sally and I just disagree with many of their selections. For #3 they selected the new movie Her. Ummm excuse me. You cannot pick a movie that is currently in theaters as one of the TOP 25 BEST. There are rules. And where is Pretty Woman??? 

I am irate and want to go watch Pretty Woman in protest. 

Thought #4

If you are last minute shopping for Valentine's cards or gifts or 50% off 2014 calendars tomorrow you need to head to Paper Source. I had time to kill before a meeting tonight and I literally could've bought out the whole store. In case you are in need of last minute gift ideas, I have a few. Due to the fact that my husband just got new ski clothes, he will not be receiving any presents this year. But in case you need some help, here are my clever ideas:

Buy this coffee mug and gift it along with a Starbucks gift card because at the end of the day he won't use the mug and you will, making it a win win for everyone.

Buy this card and set out some donuts for breakfast. I know. I am a genius.

And if your significant other happened to wear the wine and silver blue in college and was a Pi Phi, might I recommend any of these items: coffee mug, glasses, or tea towels. And if you happen to be my husband reading this, I will also accept any of these presents as well. 

Thought #5

I have been a day ahead all week and I felt like today was Thursday and it wasn't. It is a horrible feeling when that happens and I just had to share. 

Two more days to the weekend. Ugh.

Shirley Temple

Shirley Temple passed away today. When I heard this, it made me very nostalgic for my childhood. When we were little, Kristina and I were obsessed with this movie:

The Little Princess

Looking back at the various scenes I was able to find online, there are all these big moments that stood out to me then and still stand out to me today: 

When the boarding school threw her a fancy birthday party while her Dad was away. Was she at boarding school? We never understood where she was living at the time. 

The mean lady we never liked. And then later found out why. We never knew who this lady was…a principal? Head of the boarding school? Something else? 

We were sad she had ended up in this mess but we were glad she had a friend. And who could forget when she got mad and threw the potatoes everywhere screaming "It's not okay. It's not okay." 

We never understood this scene. Ever. 

We were so excited when she woke up with all the nice things.  And the warm rolls. It made us want rolls. But we never understood where all the new stuff came from?

We were mad at the hospital guards for keeping her from her father. 

We celebrated at the end when she was reunited with her father. And Kristina always liked to look at Dad and say "No Daddy, no Daddy."

In finding those clips there are so many thoughts and feelings I used to have watching "The Little Princess" that just came flooding right back. There are also still a lot of questions we had then that were never answered and came flooding right back too. I am glad though. Glad those questions were never answered, glad I still get them so many years later and glad this movie was such a big part of our childhood.

Rest in peace Shirley Temple. You were and will always be an icon to Kristina and me. 

El Bachelor Episode 6

Tonight I had two friends over who I used to watch The Bachelor with in Austin, S & P...I should probably call them Salt and Pepper from now on and now that I have said that, they will probably never come watch with me again. Because of this though, I partially watched while partially chatting about the contestants, all while drinking wine and eating snacks. The Bachelor recipe of champions, right here on a drizzly and cold Monday night. Come one come all anytime you want, just be warned you may leave with a nickname.

Episode 6: Was that a cat???

Andi's Date:

• Andi finally got a one on one date. Cheers to you Andi. 
• Dinner at the geyser. "This date is going to blow her mind" -JP
• Me: No sh*t Juan Pablo. You are eating dinner on a geyser. (excuse the curse words but it's necessary)
• What is with the tiniest towel ever to shield them from the geyser water? Are there no umbrellas on set? 
• Juan Pablo pulled a rose out of his jacket. WHOA. Stop now. Do we have a Bachelor Houdini on our hands??

Group Date:

• Note to self: When competing on The Bachelor, always wear waterproof eyeliner. You never know when you may be forced into a giant bubble filled with water to fling around for your life as you roll down a mountain. You.never.know. 
• This date is taking place on the set of Lord of the Rings. Attention Bachelor producers, when can we film a date at the set of Hogwarts? 
• It is Cassandra's birthday? This caused my friends and me to all pause to try to figure out if this meant she was turning 22 or turning 21. 
• This was after we had spent a good amount of time trying to compare when Cassandra had a baby to when Renee had a baby since they were bonding over missing their kids. 
• Was he totally wasted during the Sharleen date? 
• Someone called him Juan. Since when do we call him Juan? 
• Cassandra got dumped on her birthday. Happy birthday, have a nice life.
• Then came this moment. 


Is that a cat on the TV? It just moved. Yes it is indeed a cat on the TV.






What the hell is going on Juan Pablo?

Clare Date:

• I was shocked that she got the one on one date. If Ben could pick Courtney many seasons ago, then we all need to realize Juan Pablo could pick Clare. It is time we all start seeing what is right in front of us. 
• The biggest moment:"What does bolt mean?" -JP
• Me: I'll tell you what bolt means- it is what I would do right now if I was ever asked that question on a date. 

Rose Ceremony:

• And just like that it was time to bid another week adieu. It was between Kat and Chelsie but the bottom line is it doesn't matter which one went home tonight because the other is going home next week. 
• The big question is, will Sharleen be leaving voluntarily next week? Is she the dark horse this season?  

Do any of us even care anymore? I will be the first to admit no. I am also the first to admit I cannot stop watching. Stay tuned…we still have a few more weeks to go. 

Fancy Nights and New Friends

Sometimes it is interesting to break routine. Break up the weekday plans and throw in a ball one night. You know, just for fun. That is exactly what happened last week on Thursday night. Junior League hosted their annual ball and Thursday night is known as Girls Night. Since I am a new transplant to the city, I wasn't planning to attend but my new co-worker bestie J, who also belongs, invited me to attend with her friends.

Thursday came and I worked all day. Given that it was Thursday, I still had one more day left to work. But Thursday evening I had a ball to attend. Nothing will break up your week like trying to mentally process the change in dynamics from working world to social party world and back again.

It was a night of laughs, a night of champagne and a night of dancing. It was an all around fun night. One of those nights where you begin to think, okay maybe I am sorta settling into my new city. I have learned to embrace those moments because soon I will be driving around, confused, overwhelmed and lost again in my new city.

The evening was sprinkled with little nuggets of wisdom and laughter that are still making me laugh. I think they are still making me laugh because they took little things I was honestly worried about and now I feel silly for even thinking about them. A reminder that life is not as serious as we often think it is…or not as serious as I think it is, I should say:

On hanging out with new people:

• I met J's friends and told them how much I appreciated them letting me tag along…how I didn't want to be the "awkward co-worker" who came with J. One of them kindly said "You are only the awkward co-worker if you are in fact awkward. So far you appear very normal." Truth. Sorta :)

On the attire:

• You know how when you go to an event you are always just a little worried about wearing the appropriate thing to fit in….with the phrase "cocktail attire" it could go a lot of different ways. As we stood around during the champagne filled cocktail hour people watching, we began to see some very elaborate outfits for the "cocktail attire" evening. The kind of outfits where you cannot help but stare. You try hard not to but end up staring anyways. One of the girls said "I just love when people overdress." And I said YES. Took the words I have always thought right out of my mind. 

On the entertainment:

• I had been hearing for months about this show that was going to happen. This show people auditioned for, tried out for, practiced routines for, learned songs for…and I could legitimately not wrap my head around it. I mean I danced my whole life and I love a show. Should I be in the show? But I am 29 years old. I don't understand the show. 
• The show is a cross between the dance recitals of my past/ end of "summer vacation performances" channeling the final show in Dirty Dancing sans Patrick Swayze/ Six Flags performances/ and then just a good ol' fashion show.  
• The verdict? I won't ever be auditioning. However I now understand why all the girls were insisting we get extra glasses of champagne for the performance. I sang along. I danced in my chair to the tunes. Cheers to the girls who performed- you rocked and are far braver than I am. 

On the food:

• Lesson learned: when you take a break from your normal weekday evening routine to attend a ball, you need to eat a snack before. Otherwise you will inhale your plate of food PLUS two rolls. 
• It would have been helpful in Cinderella if there had been a dinner scene. I imagine many girls my age would know better now about having a snack prior to "the ball."

On the fun:

• Between the dressy evening, the champagne, the new friends I made, the music, the dancing…I had SO much fun!  

On being thankful for friends in a new place:

• When you are new to a city and a new organization, it can be hard to feel a part of everything. Thursday night I felt a part of it. That is all thanks to my co-worker J who is more than a co-worker but a good friend. After being in the working world many, many years, I have to say good friends at work are hard to find. I am thankful to have one placed in my life. Thank you J for inviting me along because thanks to you, I am still smiling about the Thursday evening several nights later.  

Thanks J, Looking forward to many more fancy days and fancy nights!