Valentine's Day Comic Relief At Your Service

I am dressed and ready for Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day is kind of a comical holiday in my mind because instead of lots of rosey chocolate covered memories, my Valentine's Day memories are all ridiculous. I am not anti-Valentine's day but if you are in need of a good Valentine's break from everyone's picture perfect days, then I invite you to take a trip down memory lane with me.

Disclaimer: Do not read these and feel sorry for me. I am a happily (sometimes) married lady now. But for some reason Valentine's Day and I have never mixed well and it gave me an appreciation for girlfriends, creating my own plans and laughing at my own misfortune which seemed to happen every time February 14th rolled around.

The younger years:

• My popular sister: The time Kristina came home with this bouquet of flowers from school and I came home empty handed. (Who am I kidding this was not just one time) But this particular year, I had to stare at these flowers for days sitting in our kitchen...and then she broke up with him. I realized she literally kept her boyfriend around so she could get flowers for Valentine's Day.
• One of the moments where I realized my sister is smarter than I gave her credit for and decided I would keep her around.

The college years:

• The Year of Taco C: The time in college where Hayley and I thought we'd just drive to Houston for Valentine's Day since we were both "not dating/dating/not dating" guys who had gone MIA. The problem is hers resurfaced right before the day and blew our plans. But then he disappeared again on February 14th only to resurface at 10:30pm while we were in the HEB check out lane. I can't even remember what we were buying or why were were there but I specifically remember standing in the check out lane as she was screaming about the fact that he was just now asking her on a date...and it was to Taco Cabana. 
• A Rose from my Chiropractor: Then there was the time I had a visit to my chiropractor on Valentine's Day and he was giving all of his patients a rose. At the time I was thinking surely this won't be the only rose I am going to get on Valentine's Day? And I'll let you guess what happened there. 
• Pizza Hut: Somehow one Valentine's Day I ended up at Pizza Hut with random girls from our sorority house that also didn't have dates. Yes Pizza Hut. The only time I ever went there in college. 
• College Pad Meets Bachelor Pad: When I was dating Gregg senior year, our first Valentine's Day we decided to bake cookies at his house. This problem with this is it exposed me to a lot of things about the house of my new "not-my boyfriend-yet" (yes, I was judging, go ahead and judge me for that)....the main one being the mason jar he offered me for water. 

The long distance boyfriend years: 

• The Plan: While I lived in Denver for grad school, Gregg and I celebrated by eating the same food and watching the same movie. (cheesy but come on you think it is sorta cute) The only fast food around me and also near him was Wendy's so that was the plan. 
• The Reality: I got out of class around 8pm only to discover it had snowed and was continuing to snow. So there I was on Valentine's Day scraping ice and snow off my car. Then I arrive at the drive-thru only to discover my window is frozen shut. It would not open. I cannot place my order because I can't get the window down. So I have to park my car and go into this oddly placed Wendy's on Valentine's Day..making this entire experience even worse because I am the only person in there. Meanwhile Gregg is texting me that he's hungry wondering what is taking me so long. 
• Needless to say we did not try this again.

The marriage years: 

• Operation Carpool: Our first Valentine's Day as a married couple, I got to wake up at 4am and drive Gregg to the airport because he had to go on a consulting trip. My car was having issues and I needed to use his for the week. We were both so cold and miserable that I don't think we even said Happy Valentine's Day to each other in person that morning.
• Adventures in Baking: Which brings us to last night when I was making these cupcakes and nearly "mixed" my hand off. Here is a lesson to note: Do not plug in the handheld mixer and then decide to put those little silver mixer things inside. What will happen is you will accidentally turn on the mixer and before you know it your hand is getting a beating and you can't figure out how to make it stop.  

Luckily no one had to be taken to the hospital during the baking of these cupcakes.

There you go. If you are having a day where the guy you are dating has disappeared, do not be alarmed. If your plans are not working out the way you had hoped, don't think it is the end of your relationship. And if you don't have a significant other around then grab your best friends or just grab yourself, load up on chocolate candy and watch a movie. 

Happy Valentine's Day!