My Golden Birthday- The Big 30

I am turning 30. On the 30th of April. 30 on the 30th. It's my golden birthday. It feels strange and at the same time like it's time. Time to say good bye to my 20s. A decade that was tough for me, even though I always imagined it being so fun. It was a decade of growing from a single college sophomore into a married adult with a career. That alone is crazy to me.

Please excuse the mess. This is apparently what 30, being married and having a career look like a la 8am. Thanks husband for my new shades!

Instead of being sad though, I thought I'd list out 30 things I know about myself, am proud of, am not proud of, but at the end of the day I know about myself as I head into my 30s.

1. My sister is my best friend. I am not sure when it happened but somewhere in the past 30 years it did. 
2. After all the awful dates, guys and dating games, I am married to the best husband and most perfect person for me. It was all worth it in the end and if you are reading this and are still looking for your person, I promise it will be worth it in the end for you too. 
3. I am still obsessed with my family. They are my people. 24/7. We have each other's backs and I am proud to admit that. 
4. The working world can be strange. I have met some amazing people in the work force and some of the strangest people in the work force. I finally learned this is applicable to everyone, the world is not out to get just me.
5. I have met some amazing friends I never would've imagined meeting and I have lost some friends in my life that I never would've imagined losing. This has been the toughest part of growing up for me. 
6. I learned I can move to cities I have never lived and figure them out. That being said I have also learned it isn't truly a move until you've cried at least once over the boxes and the changes.
7. On a similar note, I also learned that as much as I hate a city when I move there, I will always be sad and cry when I leave. 
8. I know a funeral is the worst place to have front row seats. 
9. I wish I read more. I struggle to finish books. But every time I do I feel so accomplished and energized by the process of reading. 
10. I am much happier when I am busy. Even though I don't feel happy at the time, I am happier. 
11. I miss school and getting grades. Work is tough because you don't get grades. You work hard and just continue working hard. There is never the rush of finals being over and going on a break. I miss that.
12. I can say I am old enough to remember when you had to be in college to be on Facebook. 
13. Speaking of college, I never thought I'd go to A&M. Now I can't imagine my life had I not gone to A&M. 
14. My favorite color is still purple.
15. My favorite animals are still cats and I now own one myself. The fact that I own a pet separate from our family dogs at home has made me feel very grown up. 
16. I have developed a love of touring hotel lobbies. The exact thing I used to give my Dad hell for making us do as a child.
17. I love to travel.
18. I love cozy nights at home.
19. I love wine. 
20. I have yet to own a home, only apartments. I am secretly okay with this absence of commitment in my life.
21. I still don't know how to cook that well. 
22. I still pick my nails. Occasionally I let them grow and get manicures for awhile. Then I pick them all off again. It's a vicious cycle. 
23. I worry. A lot. About big things and dumb things. I am not sure if it is fear of the unknown or fear of failure or issues with expectations. But I worry. 
24. I am slowly but surely admitting to myself that I have been and always will be a planner. I have always gotten made fun of for this and have attempted many times to quit planning, but it doesn't work. You can't quit planning if you are a planner. Instead I am learning to embrace it and embrace getting made fun of for this in the process.  
25. I love dancing. I really do miss performing in dance recitals and dance team. 
26. I know that the concept of being in the right place at the right time isn't a concept- it's God. 
27. I don't like to brag. Which is good except even when it is the good kind of bragging, I still struggle. 
28. I have figured out I love writing. I love public speaking. I love delivering meaningful messages to people to help them. I love making people laugh. I am trying to figure out if I will ever find a way to tie those together. 
29. My friends affectionately call me their life counselor and say I missed my calling. I actually love that I am the person people think of calling when they need someone. 
30. I truly feel loved by the people in my life. Even in admitting that, I struggle because I feel like I am bragging (see #27). But it's true- I am loved. 

 Cheers to 30! Thank you for reading and celebrating with me today! 

Culture Thursdays and Bubbly on the Bend

A couple Thursdays ago, S and I ventured on yet another evening of what we now fondly refer to as "Culture Thursdays." This time it was an event called Bubbly on the Bend taking place at Bayou Bend Collections and Gardens. We visited Bayou Bend in December for their Yuletide Nights but it was dark and we couldn't see much of the grounds. We were excited to see it during day light.

Of course when the day came, it makes perfect sense that for a festive Spring event full of champagne and flowers, the weather would be rainy, humid and dreary. But they had a huge tent covering the lawn and even had a giant flower chandelier.

We got our cups of champagne and wandered around the grounds to explore. Again, the gross weather kind of dampened the Spring feeling but we survived…because there is nothing lovelier than wandering around a rich estate with champagne whether its sunny or sprinkling. 

The main attraction here is that all of this land and this house used to belong to an actual person. She left it to be used as a way to preserve American History. The house is like taking a step back into time with all the old furniture, nicknacks, decorations and feel. I really enjoy museums that aren't typical museums so this is one of my favorite discoveries in Houston.

At Christmas time, they have tours led through the house where you watch people act out scenes in each room depicting what it would've been like in different eras to be celebrating the holidays. They didn't have that this time but we enjoyed trying to figure out what decor items were different in each room. 

The one thing that remained the same though was the rickety bridge you have to cross to get to and from the property from the parking lot. When we left it was pitch black and lit up like it had been at Christmas time. 

It made me think about how I was feeling last December heading into Christmas after what had been a whirlwind of a few months of moving to Houston, adjusting to new jobs, adjusting to new work schedules, adjusting to a new life...and heading into the holidays felt like a nice breather for us. As I wandered across this time, it was interesting to think how much more settled I feel now than I did at Christmas time and how thankful I am for this reminder of how far we have come even though it may not feel like it at times. 

I think it's always a good idea to take a minute and think of how far you've come in any situation. I tend to have a problem with patting myself on the back, unfortunately focusing more on what I do wrong than right, but I should really make an effort to do it more often.

So here I am making an effort and if you are reading along, take a minute and pat yourself on the back for something too- And consider me sending you a virtual pat on the back too! 

Happy Hour Today With Friends From Yesterday

I went to Happy Hour tonight with some friends of mine from college and I have to say there is something magical about getting together with old friends- you know the friends who knew you when you were 18 and thought everything in the world rested on "what major you chose," who you lived with in your sorority house and saw you at your worst (early mornings), your best (date party formals) and everything in between (classes and meals), who saw and met the different guys you dated and heard about the corresponding drama that went along with those moments, who you drove to class with, who you studied with in the sorority chapter room, who you had lunch with- the people who knew you those 4 years when you were trying to discover who you were away from home before you shifted into the "real world."

You share these great memories because you experienced the same things. The same things that silly or serious are all just silly now. And as you sit there with your old friends, you are able to let your guard down because these people know you, the real you. You are mentally transported back to a simpler time when your only responsibility was school and the biggest worry you had was whether the boy you liked would call you back.

I am thankful for these nights and think it is important to have these nights. To have one of them on a Wednesday, allowing me an evening of escape, is like a midweek reward. These nights end in smiles as I am filled up with memories and emotions of happiness thinking about my past as I tackle the rest of the week in the "real world" of my today.

Happy Hour with the Wine and Silver Blue. Some of my faves from PC 02 & PC 03.

Being Still, Slowing Down, Being Present

I need to slow down. I never really notice how much I need to slow down until I am forced to slow down and realize I have trouble slowing down. Does that even make sense?

But the thing is, this slowing down I am referring to doesn't relate to activity as in a busy schedule. It relates to a growing need I am feeling to constantly be looking at something either on my computer, my iPhone, the TV or anything else I feel I need to be paying attention to...in addition to what already has my attention in the first place. Even while I am sitting here writing this post I am getting on my phone to text or check instagram. I can sit down to read a book but I still have my phone next to me and periodically check it as well. I am beginning to think these tiny behaviors I have grown accustomed to are not tiny and not a big deal like I once thought but beginning to sneak their way into other pieces of my life.

For instance, this weekend Kristina and I spent some time hanging out with Mom in our parents' bedroom. We were all laying around on the bed with the dogs, wearing pajamas (quasi-matching, of course) and literally just being still....life was moving slow.

In this exact moment I found myself having this nervous energy, almost like I felt I needed to be doing something. I kept having to consciously tell my mind to be still, slow down and be present. To stop thinking about other things, creating a mental "plan for the day" or even checking social media for whatever reason I don't even know.

When Sunday rolled around and I knew it was also the day we'd be leaving, I felt a similar restlessness except this time the issue was with being present. In hindsight I realize that I spent most of the afternoon anticipating we would be leaving and in a lot of ways I missed out on the simple moments of the day. My mind was elsewhere, preoccupied with everything that had to be done before we left...when I would pack, what time we would leave, what I had to do when I got back that the thoughts just swirled and blocked me from being present. Instead of just going with the day and "rolling with the punches" I tried to prevent the punches...consequently I wasn't mentally present for any of it because I was thinking two steps ahead at all times.

After a weekend of feeling this at home, Monday came and I went to visit a good friend of mine and her one month old baby girl. As I sat there talking and catching up, I watched her sitting on the couch with her new little daughter. The baby was just still and she was forcing my friend to be still. The baby then forced me to be still when I held her. After our visit it left me thinking a lot about how we can be forced to be still and be present. I am wondering if the two go hand in hand.

I am finding that it is the smallest things that force us to slow down and pay attention. In my case this weekend, I began to receive this lesson by lounging around with our family dogs on a lazy Saturday afternoon and meeting a new little baby on a Monday morning. Now it is up to me to take this lesson and figure out how to apply it...figure out how to be still, slow down and be present on a daily basis. Definitely a challenge but also definitely something I need to be committed to right now. Stay tuned.

 

Does anyone else have issues with constant multitasking in your mind or with social media? Any tips for shutting down and allowing yourself to focus on the moment?   

Making an Impact in Unexpected Places

Babysitting and being a nanny are interesting things. I have done both or have considered myself both at different times. For me personally it was a reflection of age that probably shifted the title. I think most of the time it is a reflection of the amount of care and time provided to a family. 

I came across this piece on Slate that really got me thinking this week about the role of a nanny in a child's life and the role I played in families I babysat for over the years. The author Jordan Teicher wrote about a series being done on NYC nannies and the relationships they have with the children and families in which they work. I found it fascinating for many reasons but the biggest one of all being there is a part of me that could relate so well to some of the comments the nannies made about their families. 

• Gemma said "she feels like part of the family but doesn’t want to because she knows she has to leave one day."
• Ernestine said: "she misses the children when she moves on."

As someone who considers babysitting her first career, I could relate so well to what these women were saying. I know we care for children for different reasons but the end result is the same. Even though you may not try, you become attached to a family and to the children. In many ways sometimes you become part of the family. But just as children grow and do not need a nanny anymore, in my case I also had to grow up myself, go to college and move away. I think so often about all the kids I have babysat over the years. Most of them were old enough to remember me or I still see them periodically. Thanks to technology I keep up with several of them through facebook or instagram.

There is still a difference though. 

In many ways it is the difference from once being involved in their lives in person on a daily basis to now watching as more of a spectator. In several cases the kids I babysat were so small they wouldn't remember me today but I still very much remember them. 

But then I let my mind wander a little more and think beyond to all the people a person encounters in their life. Some are there for a lifetime and some are there only briefly. But everyone plays a part in weaving the tapestry of your life. Gregg and I have had some "life has come full circle" moments lately and it has left me thinking a lot about it. Thinking about everyone from my past, relationships that have changed and people I have yet to meet who will play a huge role in my future. It is amazing how it all intertwines to position us exactly where we are supposed to be today. 

For the kids I babysat, I was a part of their story. No matter how brief or long it was, I was there. I can only hope that whether they remember me or not, I left a positive mark on them. It is one of the benefits of the job no one tells you about I guess. The impact you can make on someone and the impact they can make on you, even if it is only for a short while. But then maybe that is one of the benefits of our everyday life that people easily forget about- no matter how big or how small, everyday you make an impact on someone. 

Mission 2014: Let's Be Mentally Strong

I read this article in Forbes this afternoon and it was one of those articles that had me nodding my head in agreement the entire time. 

It also had me taking notes on things I need to improve upon the entire time: 

• People pleaser? Check for yes. 
• Embrace change? Check for no. 
• Willing to fail? Check for no.
• Expend their mental energy wisely? Check for no.

There were several I am good at and as noted above there are several I could definitely improve upon. But I thought the article was fascinating. We always think about being physically strong but how much time do we spend trying to be mentally strong? I for one don't spend enough time and this is definitely something I need to work on because the mind is a powerful tool in good ways and bad.

I have thought about the article all day. I even mentioned some of the topics to Gregg tonight. Then this graphic appeared on my Pinterest feed and I figured it was a sign. I figured it meant the universe was trying to tell me it was time to not only read these tips but to apply the advice.  So here I am writing about it in an attempt to be accountable...if to no one else but myself.  

Print the article or these tips out. Put it in a place you see everyday. 

Mission 2014: Let's be mentally strong.