El Bachelor Episode 9

El Bachelor Episode 9: "You're So Vain." 

After watching this episode I felt a strong urge to watch this scene from How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days. Because let's face it, that's about how long these people on The Bachelor have known each other so it makes sense. 

This is going to be a strange recap. Strange because I went to Happy Hour and got home at 8:15. The Bachelor starts at 7. When I texted Kristina to tell her I was about to start watching she informed me that she was at the portion where DA Andi was recapping her fantasy suite nightmare date. Kristina demanded I fast forward to catch up. The exact phrases she used were: 

• "Seriously Clare's date is boring as EXPLETIVE" 
• Spoiler: they make out in the hot tub AGAIN. shocker. 

Now that I have finished the episode I don't care enough to go back and watch Clare's date so I'm just going to have to go with that. 

The real humor began as we tried to figure out where in the episode the other person was so we could begin watching:

Kristina: I just saw a bird. 

Me: Bird on a tree? Or bird in the water?

<Insert Commercial Break>

<Insert Nikki's Date> 

• I truly have no idea what happened on this date other than her fringe bathing suit. No idea. 

<Insert Commercial Break>

Kristina: Whoa why is Chris Harrison SO dressed up?

Me: What Chris Harrison? I am watching Juan Pablo's grey pants.

Kristina: Flip flop flip flop. 

<Insert commercial break> 

Kristina: I just saw a spider?

Me: What a spider? I am watching Andi walking down a path.

K: Ughhhh hold on okay bye. 

Andi vs. Juan Pablo- FINALLY. Give the people what they want on a Tuesday night.

• Andi is an assistant DA so my guess is that the girl knows how to argue. Like for real argue. 
• The greatest moment in Bachelor history may have been when she asked if JP knew her religious views? Her political views? How she wants to raise her kids? 
• Andi. This is The Bachelor. NOT a date at Chili's. Do not ask such foolish questions. 

The word Default

• There was a lot of discussion around this word and I am not sure why. 
• Juan Pablo said "I don't say that word. It is not a word that I use."
• Then he tried to pronounce it and said he can't pronounce it.
• So I ask you, do you or do you not think the word default was used inside fantasy suite?

The phrase "It's Okay"

STOP SAYING IT'S OKAY. 

OKAY. 

You disrespect me like that on my show and you leave in a van. 

The rose ceremony. 

• This was a super shocker as to who was getting roses at this point. 
• The two blondes will go head to head in two weeks. 

TWO WEEKS??? Seriously ABC. I really thought the double header this week would mean a double header next week. Although I will be tuning in for the most dramatic "Women Tell All" ever. I typically hate these things but this one is going to be highly entertaining. The big question on my mind:

• Will Lucy wear shoes?
• Kristina wants to know if Lucy will even wear clothes? 

Besitos to all and to all a Good Night.