Happy Hour Survivors

One of my biggest complaints in the working world is that I don't get Spring Break anymore. Kristina gets it and all my teacher friends get it, but yours truly does not. Last Thursday evening, I got together with some of my old sorority friends for Happy Hour- what started out as an innocent evening of drinks turned into the entire season of Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami in ONE night.

Incident #1: We can get you a table right next to this...

It started out that the location we picked was packed. Clearly I pay no attention to March Madness because we had coincidentally picked Thursday night to get together, the same night March Madness kicked off. We got a table and it was literally right in front of this:

Considering we all know each other from A&M…this was what you call ironic. 

Incident #2: Red wine is SO much better when you are covered in it.

The waitress delivers our 2nd glasses of wine. Then she delivers menus. Somehow in the delivery of the menu and me looking at it, I manage to spill my ENTIRE glass of red wine all over myself...to say I was soaked is an understatement. Luckily I was wearing a black skirt so the true disaster of the situation wasn't that noticeable. It did get on my cardigan. Both were promptly delivered to the dry cleaner the next morning. (I really believe I was being cursed for making fun of the Happy Hour above.)

Incident #3: I see blood.

As if being soaked in red wine wasn't bad enough, my friend A looks at me and says are you bleeding…and sure enough I am. I cut myself and it would not stop bleeding. It wasn't a situation needing stitches it was just a nice little cut. So I end up going to the bathroom, wrapping a paper towel around my finger and setting it in place with a band-aid, courtesy of A conveniently having one in her purse. Lesson learned: It is very helpful to have someone who works in a school environment around for happy hour because they always carry things like band-aids and know how to stay calm in a red wine disaster situation. 

Happy hour injury. The finger that won't stop bleeding.

Incident #4: Empty chair gone bad.

One of our friends had to leave early, leaving us with an empty chair at our table. So up walks some random guy and sits down. Okay I get it. Been there done that. Guys should really get some new moves. He sits down and proceeds to try to talk to all of us. Okay fine. Let's here your schpeel and then you can be on your way. Here's the thing though….homeboy never left. He sat down and in no particular order the following things were said:

• Guy goes from normal guy to McSleazy. 
• McSleazy tells us he is a salesman.
• McSleazy starts insulting A&M since he went to Baylor.
• McSleazy calls ME a Mean Girl and says he doesn't like me. In response I made everyone toast to this compliment he just paid me.
• We try to inform McSleazy we are all married to which he doesn't care.
• Then we tell him we are all pregnant. Anything to make the madness stop because by that point we had all finished our wine and were literally drinking water so it was somewhat believable. 
• McSleazy tells me (again) he doesn't like me. 

Incident #5: McSleazy claims he is a lawyer and turns the evening into a Law & Order episode. 

None of us believe this….especially our friend who is actually a lawyer. McSleazy didn't like this. He proceeds to begin to argue with her about what kind of law he practices when she questions him about what exactly the "business law" he practices entails. Then she gets up to go to the restroom and he follows her to the restroom. You read that correctly he FOLLOWED her to the restroom. He waits outside to tell her all this stuff about being a lawyer, then follows her back to our table and continues to argue with her. This is not a joke. I have photographic evidence.

WHO DOES THIS????

So at this point we just had to leave. We had to get our checks and leave because this guy would not leave us alone. We also all decided we had to plan another happy hour ASAP so we could adequately recap everything that had just happened. 

There were ruined clothes, there was blood, there were pregnancies, there were arguments, there were missing phones and hang overs the next morning….Even though A was the only one of us actually on Spring Break, the rest of us made up for it in one night. 

You may not be able to see it but I wanted to make sure my injury was prominently displayed in the memory.

We came. we saw. We survived Happy Hour. And I can honestly say I am now frightened for what could happen at our next one.