DWTS: Latin Night

It's latin night with Ricky Martin but he does not open the show with "Livin La Vida Loca" Come on Ricky. Give the people what they want. 

Derek and Amy- Rumba

• Amy starts talking about how her relationship with her boyfriend isn't going so well and how that is making doing the rumba "the love dance" difficult
• Translation: I am real surprised home girl is airing her dirty laundry on national primetime TV
• They danced to this slow version of "Come on Baby Light My Fire" and I kinda liked it. Mental note to figure out where that is from.
• Also, I hate the rumba. It bores me every year. 

Post commercial break- they are serving pina coladas to the judges. Then Tom Bergeron turned his upside down and it looked like it belonged in my old Fisher Price kitchen because it didn't spill. 

Peeta and James- Samba

• They are still discussing this potential couples thing. I am over it/them and their potential couple status. I smell stunt to get votes. 
• She is also dancing in glorified lingerie. I know these costumes are usually provocative but this is quite ridiculous. 

Val and Winnie Cooper- Salsa

• Apparently Winnie Cooper broke her rib this week.
• They did this scene where they showed graphics of the texts coming in that said 
• "Fractured"
• "Yeah, it's broken"
• Clever ABC. Way to mix it up.
• Then we see Winnie jumping rope 5 seconds after so I am quite confused.

I am also quite confused by how this 90s funk outfit translates to a Salsa. 

This just in: The guest judge next week is the Coach from Dance Moms. I may die. If you have never watched I think you should tune in just to see the train wreck that will be that. 

Tony and NeNe

• I'm not going to lie I fast forwarded. I am not sure what they even danced. 

Girl I Don't Know and Charlie 

• I really liked Charlie's dance and the judges didn't. I actually think they were mean to him. 
• I thought it was sweet to see Maks and Meryl getting excited for their dance.
• I also think Charlie in response to the rude comments Charlie is thinking: "I am an Olympian with a Gold medal. I'm going to live if I don't win the mirror ball trophy"
• He's #overit 

Mark and DJ Tanner 

• Apparently there is such a thing as "Dancing With The Stars" therapy. 

My thoughts on this can best be described by the one and only Jim Halpert. 

• I only half watched this dance. I was pretty bored and confused by the song.
• How did they get nicer comments from the judges than Charlie White? I smell favoritism. 

Maks and Meryl

• So good. I am obsessed. Obsessed with these people. 
• On an unrelated note, is this a wig or how does one get their hair like this:

And let's just all give a moment of thanksgiving that I was paying such close attention to the TV at this moment because I would've missed this gem right before commercial break:

NIKKI AND JUAN PABLO! BACK ON AN ABC SHOW. WHAT!!!!!

Team Dance #1: La Cupa de La Vida aka The Cup of Life

• Charlie White was precious. And I think he and NeNe are BFFs. And that's even more precious.
• And if that's not enough, you tell me you don't want to go to a dance club with this guy. I feel like I am watching Center Stage:

Team Dance #2: Livin La Vida Loca aka Living The Crazy Life 

• Since Amy Purdy hurt herself she was out- which meant they had to judge the dress rehearsal. I thought I was getting gipped. Going to admit I was wrong. I.was.wrong.
• Let's all just pause and see all the shirtless men. Okay glad we all had that moment together. 

Elimination Time

• ALLELUIA CHARLIE AND NO NAME GIRL ARE SAFE!!!! ALLELUIA! 
• In the spirit of Latin Night…..Adios Nene and Tony. 

'Til next week and the next Meryl and Maks dance. 

Dance Moms Coach. Going to be epic.