Luncheon Anxiety Cures

Luncheon Anxiety: A made up term (by me) that describes fear of drinking a complete stranger's water at a luncheon. 

There is nothing that stresses me out more in the working world than being invited to a luncheon, sitting down and all of a sudden having my mind go blank trying to figure out which iced tea glass is mine, which bread plate is mine and which dessert is mine. I fill with fear trying to figure this out in my mind. FEAR.

I went to a luncheon yesterday and I went to another one today. Let me explain to you what happens at these events from my internal perspective...

Step 1: I am looking forward to going.

Step 2: I walk in and all is well. I am socializing. I am passing out business cards.

Step 3: We sit down to eat.

Step 4: Fear. FEAR.

Is this my iced tea and water on the left? Is that my bread plate? 

Oh wait is that my iced tea and water on the right? 

I realize most of the world probably attended an etiquette class at some time in their life and learned this. I actually think this is the reason Mom put Kristina and me in Cotillion year after year and we probably learned this at one time too. But clearly 20+ years later it didn't stick and I am confused and stressed out about it. I have failed my mom. I have failed Cotillion. I have failed as a 29 year old adult.

One time someone told me to make 

The letter "b" with your left hand and a "d" with your right hand"

It is supposed to stand for "bread" to your left and "drink" is to your right. Well on Tuesday that didn't work so well because for whatever reason I kept thinking "d" stood for dessert. So there I was getting more and more confused in my head while pretending I had my life together and carrying on a conversation. Yet deep down inside I was growing thirstier by the minute and couldn't figure out which glass was mine. Finally someone next to me put their bread down. Finally someone else took a sip of their water. Yes. We are in business. All is well.

Then the same thing happened all over again today.

But today while we were sitting down discussing how confusing it can be (I was laughing along but secretly thinking yes, this is serious stuff), someone said she thinks of the phrase "B-M-W" 

• Bread is to the upper left
• Meal is center
• Water is to the upper right 

Cue the lightbulb. Yes! Yes! This makes sense. This I can remember. 

So I felt I had to share my new tip with anyone who may have also been impacted by luncheon anxiety...or anyone who has zero luncheon anxiety and just wants to laugh at me. 

Either way...let's all B-M-W the next time we are in a stressful eating situation.

Cheers. 

Please comment if you have a better tip that I need to know about...clearly I am open to any and all suggestions.