The DA Bachelorette: Episode 1

I am running on very little sleep at this point because I got up to take my old roomie Hayley to the airport at 5am after our little college besties reunion weekend. So as if the day wasn't strange enough I had a meeting after work, raced home to try to speed watch Dancing With The Stars and catch The Bachelor. So as Chloe and I sat down for our Monday night ritual I was maybe 10 minutes into this season and already over Andi.

Translation: Gonna be a long season for Chloe and me. 

As usual there was just way too much going on last night with too many people so these were the few random moments and thoughts that stuck out in my mind. You will either agree or they will make zero sense:

Andi and her sister look at dresses:

• Flashback: It reminded me of wedding dress shopping with Kristina and getting in a fight because I demanded Kristina learned how to bustle my dress from the store associate and Kristina demanded she didn't need to be taught. Guess who won that battle? 
• Spoiler Alert: The bride always wins, especially when she is the big sister.

Tasos: The Wedding Event Coordinator 

• I am going to call this guy Tacos. 
• He is a wedding event coordinator. He speaks multiple languages. 
• I am quite confused by him overall. 

Personal Trainer Guy 

• "Gaw-dang" as he wanders up the driveway about his walk because "the limo broke down"
• Translation: Next. 

Urgent Care Physician Guy That Looks Like Surfer Guy 

• Opens with: "You must have a fever because you look pretty hot." 
• I just really wanted him to say: 

Brett from Westminster aka Lamp Guy 

• I totally thought he was going to get out with a dog a la Westminster dog show. Something along the lines of this but more dog:

But because I can't in good faith put up a Westminster dog I must put up Chloe instead. She is just as fabulous. 

Craig the Accountant 

• Gets out of the limo and pops an entire bottle of champagne. Then said he is excited to potentially fall in love with her.  
• I am thinking he is more excited to join the fraternity known as all these guys living under one roof for the 10 days they are there searching for the love of their life

J.Crew

• Did all these guys shop at J.Crew for outfits? How many plaid printed shirts and skinny ties can we see?

Cookie Monster aka Cookie Tasting Guy

• I am really into this cookie tasting. That is how you find a soulmate people! 
• It is also making me go crave and search my pantry for a cookie.

Chris from Bachelor Pad and Emily's season shows up:

• WHAT????? 
• Will they or won't they let him in??
• This is seriously the worst acting on behalf of the Bachelor staff I have ever seen and yet the most exciting thing to have happened all night. 
• And they make him leave. Boom.

First Impression Rose- Nick V. 

• I keep wanting to call this guy Eddie V as in the restaurant. 
• He's gonna be around awhile and he is super cute.

My rationale for continuing to watch even though I am not sure about Andi: 

• Yes these guys have some of the worst outfits, worst haircuts and worst jobs I have ever seen.
• But, Dancing With The Stars ends tomorrow night and we have a long summer of Mondays with nothing to watch except for Ladies of London (starts 6/2) which yes, I'll be watching too.
• I am also willing to bet a few of these cast offs find their way to Bachelor in Paradise premiering 8/4. 
• So as you can see duh. I am going to keep watching and you should too.

The End. 

P.S. Go Maks and Meryl. Tune in for DWTS Finale tomorrow night!!!!