A Letter of Complaint To Emergency Alerts

Since we moved here a year ago, I guess you could say this is our first "rainy season" in Houston. Whoa. This place does not mess around. Considering I am from San Antonio home of the odd/even water ration days; lived in Dallas which was so hot my last summer there it gave my mover heat stroke (not a joke); and Austin thrown in there with nonstop discussion of drying up lakes and rivers....you could say rain, flooding and water confuse me.

Fast forward to this week which has been torrential downpour central.... 

Last night at approximately 3:57am, Gregg and I are all of a sudden awakened to the sound of blazing sirens. Like I thought the sirens were coming from the sky and the Earth was about to say: This has been a test of the emergency broadcast system. I repeat this is only a test.

Instead I heard expletives, feet being stubbed as Gregg tried to haul to the other side of the room to get his iPhone and blackberry, Chloe jumped off my feet like she was being attacked, I rolled over to shut off my iPhone and just as I thought we were in the clear, it's time for my blackberry charging in the kitchen to wail. Meanwhile, because of the insane lightning, our entire apartment looks like we are at a club with strobe lights flicking on and off. We might as well have been in a hotel room overlooking the Las Vegas Strip.

And what was all that chaos supposed to inform us?

That we need to grab Chloe and evacuate? No.
That we need to grab Chloe and take cover? No.
That the world is literally ending? No.
That we need to somehow avoid the area, which is coincidentally where we live and are currently sleeping, until 6:45am? Yes. 

I am honestly still speechless. And tired. And speechless. But not speechless enough to write a letter of complaint to the Emergency Alert Headquarters because in case you didn't know, I love a good letter of complaint:  

Dear Emergency Alert,

I live here and I am currently trying to sleep through the disco strobe light-lightning show that has taken up residence outside every window in our apartment. So first of all I cannot avoid this area until 6:45am. I literally have nowhere else to go. I also promise I won't be going anywhere because it looks like the apocalypse outside. Not to mention that it is 3:45am on a Wednesday night and I am not in college anymore which means you can guarantee I am asleep. Finally, I planned to wake up at 6:45am at which time it seems the apocalypse will have ended. 

You have now scared my cat, Gregg nearly broke his toe and I am wide awake in confusion trying to figure out if I am supposed to go back to sleep or supposed to stay awake and vigilant through the storm. Unless Noah is around with an ark I am supposed to board ASAP, let's try to not be so dramatic next time. 

Sincerely,
Me

Wishing everyone a less dramatic and more peaceful night's sleep tonight!